Rambling

Being a mom isn't easy.  Whether you're a stay at home mom, or a mom juggling kids and a full time job outside of the home, its not easy.  And it's thankless (I'm sure my mom would be the first to agree with that).






But it's also the greatest thing ever.

As a mom who works outside the home, I've experienced that there are times when everything seems to work smoothly.  Schedules are (mostly) in balance, everyone is able to keep up (with the healthy skill of saying no), and things are (mostly) calm.

And then there's the rest of the time.

The times that nothing is in balance. 

The times that your heart and desires pull you in one direction (usually toward your family) but obligations and such pull you in another.

And then the heart begins to ache.

And the stress begins to build.

The month of May, with school ending, and summer break looming is definitely one of those seasons where nothing seems to be in balance.  .

I know that as a mom I'm called to put my family first.  God designed us that way--that is our vocation.  And when I put the family first I'm happier.  Not always calmer but definitely more satisfied.  The trick is putting aside the guilt and worry and stress that comes with knowing other obligations might not be getting my whole head. 

But....

I'm not very good at that.  I worry.  And that worry takes me away from the present.  And that really doesn't help anything.

So, for the time being I'm going to try to figure out how to get things back to manageable.  Balance is impossible, but I can live with controlled chaos.  It's not my preference, but I can live with it.